Words of wisdom from the Embassy

poorly-taken picture of the US Embassy

Wednesday was my first foray into the fortress that is the U.S. Embassy, aka. Embajada de los Estados Unidos. The Community Liason Office kindly holds Newcomers’ Briefings once a week, where a variety of folks give you an overview on life in Mexico City & within the Embassy. Overall, I was pleasantly surprised by how much useful info they gave us, but here are a few of the more salient points:

• There are loooaaadds of cool places to go visit in Mexico, and the embassy will plan trips to some of them for you.
• There are some jobs for spouses in the embassy, but you might not be super excited about them.
• They will also try to help you find jobs at private companies, but finding a unique job/getting all the legal issues sorted out is surprisingly tricky.
• The Mexican VAT is almost as bad as the UK’s, slapping a cool 15% on almost everything you buy.
• They know that some Americans get jittery when they can’t have stuff they like, so the Embassy has a commissary that sells things like Ranch dressing packets & Vic’s cheddar cheese popcorn.
• Don’t promise random Mexicans that you can get them a visa.
• There are plenty of charities & activities in Mexico City that could benefit from your time & attention.
• Just like everyone always says, don’t drink the water, and detox all your fruits & veggies before eating.
• The pollution is worst from Dec-Feb (during the dry & cold seasons) and better during the rainy season esp. when it’s warm.
• Odds of you getting what my friend Bonnye likes to call “the poops” at some point are about 99.9999%.
• Odds of you ending up with an angry parasite in your belly that requires crazy medicine may not be THAT high, but are probably close.
• Flaggin down/riding in libre taxis is a good way to end up “in a pickle” as my friend Ryan might say.
• When a city holds over 20 million people, you are bound to run into some of the bad ones; wandering around alone at night in deserted areas dramatically increases your chance of meeting them.

The other two highlights of the day were:

• Meeting another spouse who is currently a “lady of leisure” here in Polanco, much like myself, and who promisingly found humor in many of the same incidences that I found amusing during the day
• Hearing another newcomer ask, “Can you buy Mexican dogs and cats here?”  Which apparently struck me as funny enough to make me start crying from laughing so hard. Good way to make a first impression with John’s coworkers.